Tribe of Mentors questions
What are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?
Open by Andre Agassi. Despite his claims that he disliked tennis, he had such a remarkable youth and career in sport, which prompted me to step more outside my comfort zone and explore more of what life has to offer.
What purchase of $100 or less has most positively impacted your life in the last six months (or in recent memory)? My readers love specifics like brand and model, where you found it, etc.
A 4.7L Cosori Air Fryer. It helps me cook reasonably healthy food quickly, without making a huge mess in the kitchen. While it’s efficient, I still look forward to the day when cooking becomes more of a mindful activity.
How has a failure, or apparent failure, set you up for later success? Do you have a “favorite failure” of yours?
For a very long time, I underestimated the importance of social skills, believing that focusing solely engineering and computer skills would somehow lead to a meaningful and fulfilling life. Nowadays, I put people and communities at the core of everything I aim to accomplish. Technology is rarely a good substitute for genuine human connection.
If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything on it — metaphorically speaking, getting a message out to millions or billions — what would it say and why? It could be a few words or a paragraph. (If helpful, it can be someone else’s quote: Are there any quotes you think of often or live your life by?)
My first message would be: “It’s often easier to act your way into thinking than to think your way into acting”. I struggled a lot with indecision, often missing the opportunities due to inaction. This quote reminds me to be more courageous and mindful of the opportunity cost owed to our limited time on Earth. A second message would sound like “Face what scares you most right now, and sprint towards it”. It’s a reminder to get over my fears head-on rather than postponing them indefinitely.
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investments you’ve ever made? (Could be an investment of money, time, energy, etc.)
The time and energy I’ve put into improving my fitness through running over the last couple of years has been hands down my best investment ever. Running sculpts the body so nicely, improves posture and confidence, and provides well-documented health benefits. Beyond the physical rewards, it offers a sense of progress that seeps into other areas of life and makes you believe that you can influence any outcome through your own efforts. It’s not always accurate in real life, but it’s a far better mindset than one shaped by one really negative experience that leads you to stop trying at anything else and feel defeated.
What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?
I love shopping in small towns and villages in the countryside. It’s less about the purchases and more about experiencing the local community spirit. People are so amazing when they are not in a constant competition for time and resources as in big cities.
In the last five years, what new belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?
Reading or listening to audiobooks on a daily basis has opened me up to new perspectives and expanded my thinking. Another game-changer has been exercising outdoors, also daily, regardless of the weather conditions. I currenty run six days a week and play tennis once a week. Having a consistent routine has made it easier to stick to my exercise goals compared to when I worked out only two or three times a week, and had to think about allocating rest days.
What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the “real world”? What advice should they ignore?
Being smart, driven, good, nice, kind, or knowledgeable is not enough on its own. Too few people will care about how much you know until they see how you can help them improve their own lives. I learnt this lesson so late in life. School puts us in competition with our peers, creating a false impression that outranking them is what we should still do once we enter the workforce. In reality, being useful and helpful to others is probably the most productive thing you can do for yourself.
What are bad recommendations you hear in your profession or area of expertise?
Unfortunately, I don’t know. I’m still in the early stages of my career, so I try not to label anything too quickly as “good” or “bad”, and instead remain open to exploration and learning.
In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?
I’ve become better at saying “no” to distractions from feed-style social media and news websites in general, once I realised they weren’t making me stronger or better connected. How many contacts on a professional network are worth one former work colleague who recommends you for your next job? How many followers are worth one genuine friend?
When it comes to genuine requests from other people, I actually push myself to say “yes”, even if my schedule is tight. I believe that nothing can change your life more meaningfully than meeting someone new and hearing about how they view the world. This is probably because my time is not as much in demand as for the people this question was crafted for.
When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, or have lost your focus temporarily, what do you do? (If helpful: What questions do you ask yourself?)
I start by making a handwritten list of absolutely everything on my mind in that moment, no filters or exceptions. I found that simply bringing the unsettling aspects to my attention is enough to clear my mind, even if it’s just for the day. Sometimes I cross items off that list when I realise that the matter is out of my control, or that I’m already doing the best I can under the given circumstances.
Then, I want to determine what’s really important to me at that point in life. This can be difficult, so I first do my best to eliminate all sources of noise and distraction in my life - social media, news, entertaining videos, unhealthy food etc. Typically, within a few days, the body and the mind start to respond, and I gain clarity. Often, the reason for losing focus and feeling overwhelmed is the mismatch between what truly matters to me and how I’m actually spending my time. My emotional mind usually picks up on this before my rational one does.