No More Mr Nice Guy

“Obviously, it’s not always bad to be nice. Congeniality is a wonderful attribute to have, especially when a man’s goodness is consciously chosen and freely given. Nice Guy Syndrome, however, is marked by inflexible commandments, compulsive behaviors, and hidden agendas. The Nice Guy has no choice but to be accommodating and pleasant in the face of potential rejection, and his apparent amiability masks a seething cauldron of hurt, fear, and resentment. So, although niceness may be wonderful, Nice Guy Syndrome isn’t. To be more specific, the central problem with Nice Guy Syndrome is not the agreeableness, in and of itself. It’s the rigidity with which it is applied. There’s an old saying that if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Nice Guys are like that, banging away at everything with anti-creative, safety-first strategies.”